he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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