I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
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