I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
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