brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
