you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Don't EVER smell your tampon
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
