Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
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