very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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