Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
