I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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