Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize
