a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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