i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
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