I want to walk on stilts...naked
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
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His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
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His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Randomize