He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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