Your face is a jimmy john
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
