Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
