how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
