just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Every concussion has its silver lining
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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