Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
