I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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