Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
