We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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