My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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