Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
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He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
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Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"