Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.