I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
being pregnant is like rehab
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.