Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
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