how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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