You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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