There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
whose parrot is this?
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
