Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
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