Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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