I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
