Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
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