I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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