He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
