oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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