lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
i out mim tonsoeep
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