Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
