I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
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His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
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I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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