So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
