Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
