last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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