I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Everything about him screamed your future.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
