i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Randomize
