My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
