if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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