I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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