Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize