We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Randomize
