fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
