He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
