Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
