im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize