You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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