I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize