Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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