1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
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i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
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It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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