I wish I could punch you in the face.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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