I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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