I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
