Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
